Sometimes things just hurt so badly... Not to mention its so confusing. Things are rocky between everyone... Eric, Redz, Ming, Bi, Cindy, Chris, Andrew so on so forth... Its like from afar you can see so clearly what is going wrong, but as you get nearer, things just get more blur. Like a vision fogged up where you know wheres what but you just cant see whats actually there.... Sometimes, it gets so messed up it really hurts.

How can things be explained? We try so hard yet we don't get anywhere. We thought we had sorted out all our problems, but it didn't seem to improve at all. Its so hard to explain and its so hard to see through this facade, if there even is one... Things are just really so messed up that sometimes i wanna just close my eyes and let the world go... But things wouldn't work that way... Things just wouldn't.

I feel like telling someone, but there's no one to turn to at the moment... It's like the whole worlds moving while your standing still. In a large crowd yet feeling so alone...
I hate facing things alone, but what little choice would i have? I try to talk yet nothing helps at all? What can I, what can we do? Would things ever improve? or am i going to feel this way forever? Is our friendship really worth something or nothing? Can it really handle this much strain?

I don't know why or how i feel this way, but i just do. I just get soo... pissed whenever she does. I get this hardened feeling inside my chest that seems to actually hurt. Where I'm uncomfortable when im in the most comfortable position in the world. Yet she gets mad so easily and so many times its like... can't she at least control herself? Just for my sake? I feel guilty even when i know im not meant to, just because she's pissed at ME. am I meant to feel this way? Why are things just so messed up. I sweat, I break, but she doesn't know how hard im trying to maintain this things we call love for each other. But yet why do i feel like im the only one doing anything? It really really does hurt, but she doesn't care, or don't even notice. both of us are breaking our backs trying to keep up with her, yet she just leaves us behind. I know sometimes its not true, but i just FEEL this way!

Sometimes i just feel so alone. Walking through a dark cold road. Where people pass you by without a second glance. When you feel like lying down in the middle of the cold just to close your eyes, take a rest.
It really hurts Bi...
It really really does....

love, your best friend forever. Fung
Blogged @ 11:33 PM
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