deep hatred from within
skies darkening
evening shelter from sins
the happy souls waning
Cries to be heard from very far away
Tears streaming down the cursed stone
Blood pouring from the deadly ways
Bittersweet, together in a cone
Colors of miseries merging
Pains from hearts breaking
Haunting music transposing
The loud dins of cackling
Failures of life haunting
Devils and sins in the making
Feelings all faking
The stone walls shaking
What had it all turned into?
Madness of hatred
Blogged @ 12:08 AM
Don't let me go -

Sometimes things just hurt so badly... Not to mention its so confusing. Things are rocky between everyone... Eric, Redz, Ming, Bi, Cindy, Chris, Andrew so on so forth... Its like from afar you can see so clearly what is going wrong, but as you get nearer, things just get more blur. Like a vision fogged up where you know wheres what but you just cant see whats actually there.... Sometimes, it gets so messed up it really hurts.

How can things be explained? We try so hard yet we don't get anywhere. We thought we had sorted out all our problems, but it didn't seem to improve at all. Its so hard to explain and its so hard to see through this facade, if there even is one... Things are just really so messed up that sometimes i wanna just close my eyes and let the world go... But things wouldn't work that way... Things just wouldn't.

I feel like telling someone, but there's no one to turn to at the moment... It's like the whole worlds moving while your standing still. In a large crowd yet feeling so alone...
I hate facing things alone, but what little choice would i have? I try to talk yet nothing helps at all? What can I, what can we do? Would things ever improve? or am i going to feel this way forever? Is our friendship really worth something or nothing? Can it really handle this much strain?

I don't know why or how i feel this way, but i just do. I just get soo... pissed whenever she does. I get this hardened feeling inside my chest that seems to actually hurt. Where I'm uncomfortable when im in the most comfortable position in the world. Yet she gets mad so easily and so many times its like... can't she at least control herself? Just for my sake? I feel guilty even when i know im not meant to, just because she's pissed at ME. am I meant to feel this way? Why are things just so messed up. I sweat, I break, but she doesn't know how hard im trying to maintain this things we call love for each other. But yet why do i feel like im the only one doing anything? It really really does hurt, but she doesn't care, or don't even notice. both of us are breaking our backs trying to keep up with her, yet she just leaves us behind. I know sometimes its not true, but i just FEEL this way!

Sometimes i just feel so alone. Walking through a dark cold road. Where people pass you by without a second glance. When you feel like lying down in the middle of the cold just to close your eyes, take a rest.
It really hurts Bi...
It really really does....

love, your best friend forever. Fung
Blogged @ 11:33 PM
Don't let me go -

Places and Spaces

Look at them.
Look at their wholeness.
Their combined juxtaposition.
The way each crease and fold,
Each corner and each curve
Morph.
Each one complementing the other
Completing this unique circle
Where objects blend with their negative space
Consolidating all the energy to strengthen this place
Where everything, with no exceptions
Is not only accepted but belongs.
Where none is ever lost,
Just misplaced.
Here time is of no consequence.
People are of no significance.
I am of no importance.
I can live in these places and spaces.
To my fullest extent.
Without encumbrance.

Here in these places and spaces
I am free.

Bianca
Blogged @ 5:38 PM
Don't let me go -

Spaces Within My Mind - sonnet

These spaces I contain within my mind
Empty, forbidding, haunting, all at once
Where serenity is so hard to find
Back and forth in my mind, a hectic dance

Like a walk down the dark cold alleyway
Where a monster lurks in every shadow,
Like a ride through the strange vacant subway
Where within every corner, hides a foe.

Their presence causes tremors down my soul
Reminiscing in poignant memories
My soul begs deliverance from the cold
My heart prays for nothing other than peace

Will these forbidding spaces disappear?
Or will I cower in fear forever?



- fungus


ps. i think ill hand this one in. =]
Blogged @ 12:39 AM
Don't let me go -

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.

O no, it is an ever fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring barque,
Whose worth's unknown although his height be taken.

Love's not time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

-William Shakespeare-



i lovve this sonnet. favourite sonnet ive come across so far! hail to shakespeare... well... not really. but wateva.

love, fungiiiii
Blogged @ 10:36 PM
Don't let me go -

ooh. went out today =D
with sean, melvin and cindy.
lol. it was fun.
sort off.
the movie was boring as hell. then sean had to leave.
sadly.
><
but then we walked melvin to his car (isn't it meant to be the other way round? =P)
talking bout alot of random things in the woooorld!
lol.
then melvin left. and me and cindy ate at waffle world
i nearly puked
mayo and butter. eugh.
i feel like puking just thinking bout it ><
but it was fun. sort of... =]


love, fung
Blogged @ 6:51 PM
Don't let me go -

Spaces in My Mind


These spaces I have in my mind
Empty, forbidding, haunting,
They scare me.

Like a walk down the dark cold alleyway
Where a monster lurks in every shadow,
Or a trip into a haunted woods
Where a ghost prowls at every din

Their very existence causes tremors down my soul
Replaying dark poignant memories in my head
They bring the unknown,
It is the unknown that I fear.

They crawl out from the corners
Leaking, sneaking into my mind
Lashing out when unexpected
Their silhouettes cackling

My soul cries for deliverance,
My heart, for a shield
Away from the dark cold walls of my mind
Away from their fearful world

These spaces I have in my mind
Empty, forbidding, haunting
They scare me.



love, fung.

why does this give me an alternative thought? hmmm.
Blogged @ 6:43 PM
Don't let me go -

It Hurts To Know

oh you don't know...
the things I do for you,
the things I try so hard for.
You don't know...

My love is more than what I can give,
My hearts bleeds
It hurts from the center of my soul
Crying tears that would never dry.

Bleeding tears and crying blood,
I've tried tried and tried again
But yet, I never succeed.
We're so close yet so far,
Do you never see me?

It hurts to know, I'm not your number one.
It hurts to know, I'm just a ordinary person.
It hurts to know,
that you don't love me back.



love, Fung
Blogged @ 11:37 PM
Don't let me go -

omg. today was soooooooooooo fuuuuuuunnn!! lol. met almost everyone. miss them sooo much.

and omg wth. everyone suddenly turned into damm hott people. so unfair. why couldnt they be hott when i was sitll in schooool??? SNIFF
but seriously? some of them were literally. wow. lol.
=D


love. funguz
Blogged @ 11:26 PM
Don't let me go -

weeee. its like 6.45am here and im bout to go to my old school like in 15 minutes. cant wait. =D =D =D
loliez. rite. internets working for ones. but sadly i gtg. moms bugging meeeee. =P


love you mommy
love you bianca.
lolz


love, funguz
Blogged @ 6:45 AM
Don't let me go -

LOVE

Love is the perfect rose petal
Flawless and smooth, deep red and creamy
Yet, unlike a petal,
It will never wilt and die but stay afresh and young.

Love deserves no scientific evaluation
It is as pure as the morning dew on a clear spring morning
And as sacred as a new born child
For it is the most prized possession, and none can surpass it.

Love has no other description
Other than it cannot be explained until felt
And cannot be felt properly and to its fullest extent
Until shared with someone who loves as well.

And that someone is you.

Love
Bi
a.k.a.
Romatically Lovesick Fool For You
Blogged @ 10:07 PM
Don't let me go -

Awaiting

I will be waiting
When you arrive home from work
I will be waiting for you
Forever and ever, whenever, wherever.

Time is of no relevance
When it comes to us
No matter how far,
How long away you are, I will always be here.

No matter what comes between us.
The little fights and tirades you and I put on
Or the big tempers we spread
I will always be here.

Distance is of no obstruction
It is of no great albatross
For you are with me wherever I go
To the places I go.

When you are with me,
Time stands stock-still.
There is no logical explanation to this
Just that you are my other.

Love
Bi
Blogged @ 9:46 PM
Don't let me go -

Places and Spaces

Last time, you were like Pluto,
So unreacheable and distant
A rose in the garden next door,
A lost ball in the house opposite.

You are the Sun in the morning,
The start of the day,
Representing the beginning of another life,
A whole new chapter, waiting to be opened.

You are the Moon in the night,
The light in the dark,
The beacon of hope and guidance
To those lost in their pathways.

Now, entrust in me your life,
Your entire being and soul,
I will take care of it forever....
It'll be inside me forever, close to my heart.

We'll fly to the ends of the earth
And back.
We'll dream about the suns and moons together
Under the copious amount of bright shining stars.

We'll hold hands late at night whilst
Watching re-runs and drinking flat soda,
Then at midnight we'll head out to the park
Play a game of baseball and muck around.

You and me.
That's all I ever think of.
That's all I ever wanted to be.
That's all I am now.

Just you and me.
Forever...
Forever and ever babe.

Love
Bianca.
Blogged @ 4:44 PM
Don't let me go -

Drowning

Help.
Save me.
I am drowning.
Drowning, drowning drowning.
Drowning in this world of sounds and noises.
The reverberations inside my head.................
I need you now.
Where are you?
Are you enjoying your life at this moment?
If so, then, enjoy yourself.
I'll wallow in my misery.
This everlasting misery.
Where it sucks you in and holds fast your emotions and thoughts.
Blocks off every form of communication.
This depression where self-understanding is impossible.
I need you now.
Where are you?
I need you like roots need the soil for support
And like leaves need the Sun for growth.
Save me.
Help.

Bianca
Blogged @ 5:55 PM
Don't let me go -